American Idol: Hogwarts Style!
by Sirius's Daughter
Summary: 6 Gryffindors are left at school over the holidays! What happens when, one day, they're all bored? AMERICAN IDOL!


Disclaimer: Don't even think about asking…

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Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, the Weasley twins, and Fred's girlfriend, Janie Sanderson, were bored.

"Janie, I'm booooooooooooooooooooored!" Fred whined to his girlfriend as he braided her waist length auburn hair. She looked up at him, her silvery eyes shining from behind her rectangular glasses.

"Well, find a way to entertain yourself, then," she said, grinning, and went back to her book. Ron was sitting on an armchair, his eyes glazed over. Hermione's nose was buried in an enormous book. Harry's already messy, jet-black hair was even more messed up, as he had been running his fingers through it in pure boredom. Then he had an idea.

"I've got it!" he yelled to the almost empty Common Room, as it was Christmas Holidays. "We should have our own American Idol thingy!"

"'American Idol?'" the Weasleys asked incredulously. Hermione looked up from her book.

"American Idol is a show on the telly that has people come from around the U.S. to compete to get a record label," she said. Janie and Harry nodded.

"If you're wondering, a record label is a thing that lets people record songs and release them on CDs and the radio," Janie added.

"AWESOME!" Fred and George yelled.

"Let's DO IT!" Ron exclaimed, jumping up. Harry grinned, waved his wand, and the Common Room turned into the American Idol tryout room, complete with judges.

"Where are Paula, Simon, and Randy?" Hermione asked, confused. The woman shook back her long, stereotype Barbie-blonde hair and giggled a silvery laugh.

"They work in, like, America, silly! I'm, like, you know, Stacey!" she said in a British valley-girl accent.

"Yeah, dawgs! I'm Andy!" said the large black man.

"Completely and utterly brainless," muttered the Goth at the end of the table. He sighed. "Let's get this over with, please. I'm Jonathan."

Janie frowned.

"Depressed much?" she whispered to Hermione, who smiled and nodded. Andy took out a list and said, "The dawgette we have up here is Ms. Janie Sanderson, singing, 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous' by Good Charlotte!"

Janie, confused, walked onstage.

_When did I decide that? _she wondered. But when the music started, she stopped worrying and started singing.

_Always see it on tv or  
Read it in the magazines  
Celebrities want sympathy_

_I'd like to see them spend the week  
Livin' life out on the street  
I don't think they would survive_

But they could spend a day or two  
Walking in someone else's shoes  
I think they'd stumble and they'd fall  
They would fall, fall, fall, fall

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous  
They're always complainin'  
Always complainin'  
If money is such a problem  
Well, they got mansions  
think we should rob them

Stacey and Andy were dancing in there seats. They were clearly enjoying this, and so were the other 'contestants'.

_Did you know when you're famous you could Kill your wife  
And there's no such thing as 25 to life  
As long as you got the cash to pay for Cochran_

And did you know if you were caught and You were smokin' crack  
McDonald's wouldn't even wanna take you back  
You could always just run for mayor of D.C.

_Lifestyles of the rich and the famous  
They're always complainin'  
Always complainin'  
If money is such a problem  
Well, they got mansions  
Think we should rob them_

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous  
we'll take your clothes, cash, cards, and homes   
Just stop complaining  
Lifestyles of the rich and famous   
Lifestyles of the rich and famous  
Lifestyles of the rich and famous

She smiled and bowed.

"You, like, rock out loud, you know?" Stacey squealed.

"You do your thang, dawgette! You are on FIRE!" Andy said, waving his arms around.

"I suggest you try to get a record label with 'Idiots Singing, Inc.' as they're the only ones who'd have you," Jonathan said, leaning back in his chair. Janie just smirked at him.

"Next up is, like, Hermy Granger!" Stacey said, flinging her arms out. "She'll be singing, like, 'I'm Like a Bird' by Nelly Furtado!"

Harry then shoved Hermione on stage. She froze, and then the music started. She smiled, and sang her heart out.

_You're beautiful, that's for sure  
You'll never ever fade  
You're lovely but it's not for sure  
That I won't ever change  
And though my love is rare  
Though my love is true_

_I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away  
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is  
(and baby all I need for you to know is)  
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away  
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is  
All I need for you to know is_

Janie grinned as Harry gaped at her.

"Ask her out," she muttered.

_It's not that I wanna say goodbye  
It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me  
Each and every single day I know  
I'm going to have to eventually give you away  
And though my love is rare  
And though my love is true  
Hey I'm just scared  
That we may fall through_

_I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away  
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is  
(and baby all I need for you to know is)  
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away  
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is  
All I need for you to know is_

"Ahmegawd, you GO girl!" Stacey squealed.

"Yeah! You da dawgette!" Andy yelled, clapping.

"Complete and utter rubbish," Jonathan muttered. He sighed. "Next is Fred Weasley. He will be singing, and this song is idiotic, 'American Idiot.' by Green Day"

Fred jumped onstage just as the music started. He started to sing.

_Don't wanna be an American idiot._

_Don't want a nation under the new media._

_And can you hear the sound of hysteria?_

_The subliminal mindf--- America._

_Welcome to a new kind of tension._

_All across the alien nation._

_Everything isn't meant to be okay._

_Television dreams of tomorrow._

_We're not the ones who're meant to follow._

_Well that's enough to argue._

Janie laughed. It was exactly something that Fred would've picked.

_Don't wanna be an American idiot._

_One nation controlled by the media._

_Information nation of hysteria._

_It's going out to idiot America._

_Welcome to a new kind of tension._

_All across the alien nation._

_Everything isn't meant to be okay._

_Television dreams of tomorrow._

_We're not the ones who're meant to follow._

_Well that's enough to argue_

"WHEEEEE!" Stacey cried. "The hottie rocks!"

"Back off, girl!" Janie warned her. "He's mine!"

"Yeah, dawg!" Andy said. "Keep rockin'!"

"Stupid," Jonathan said.

"The dawg up next is the G-man, George Weasley!" Andy said. "He's singing that timeless classic, 'DOA' by Foo Fighters!"

George jumped onstage and, doing the moonwalk over to the microphone, jumped around and sang his heart out.

_Oh you know I did it_

_It's over and I feel fine_

_Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind_

_Waiting and I wait at the longest night_

_Nothing like the taste to sweet decline_

_It's a shame we have to die my dear_

_No ones getting out of here, alive_

_This time_

_What a way to go, they have no fear_

_No ones getting out of here, alive_

_This time_

"Go hot guy!" Stacey cheered.

_Ain't no way, DOA_

_Ain't no way, DOA_

_It's a shame we have to disappear_

_No ones getting out of here, alive_

_This time_

_This time_

_This time_

"Yea, dawg!" Andy said. "Go!"

"You, like, totally rock!" Stacey said happily.

"Euch," Jonathan said.

"Now we have, like, Ron Weasley, singing, 'Invisible'! Wheeeee!" Stacey squeed.

Ron grinned and leapt onstage.

_Whatcha' doin' tonight  
I wish I could be a fly on your wall  
Are you really alone  
Who's stealin' your dreams  
Why can't I bring you into my life  
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive_

If I was invisible  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
If I was invincible  
I'd make you mine tonight  
If hearts were unbreakable  
Then I could just tell you where I stand  
I would be the smartest man  
If I was invisible  
(Wait. I already am)

"Why is he singing CLAY AIKEN?" Janie whispered to Fred, whose arms were wrapped around her waist.

"I don't know," he whispered back.

_I reach out  
But you don't even see me  
Even when I'm scream out  
Baby, you don't hear me  
I am nothing without you  
Just a shadow passing through..._

_If I was invisible  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
If I was invincible  
I'd make you mine tonight  
If hearts were unbreakable  
Then I can just tell you where I stand  
I would be the smartest man  
If I was invisible  
(Wait. I already am)_

"Keep it up, yo!" Andy said.

"Awesome!" Stacey squealed.

"Nasty," Jonathan said. "Last and most probably least, we have Mr. Harry Potter, singing, 'Someday' by Nickleback. Rah."

Harry walked onstage and over to the microphone. When the music started, he took a deep breath and sang his lungs out.

_How the hell did we wind up like this  
Why weren't we able  
To see the signs that we missed  
And try to turn the tables_

I wish you'd unclench your fists  
And unpack your suitcase  
Lately there's been too much of this  
Don't think its too late

Nothin's wrong  
just as long as  
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when

"Ahmegawd! He, like, you know, rocks!" Stacey squealed.

_Well i hoped that since we're here anyway  
We could end up saying   
Things we've always needed to say  
So we could end up stringing  
Now the story's played out like this  
Just like a paperback novel  
Lets rewrite an ending that fits  
Instead of a Hollywood horror_

_Someday, somehow  
gonna make it allright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)   
Someday, somehow  
gonna make it allright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)   
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
I know you're wondering when_

"You go, dawg! You are on fire, man!" Andy said.

"Like, oh my gosh! You are so good!" Stacey said.

"Disgusting."

"Now we have to, like, have a little meeting and decide the, you know, winner!" Stacey cheered. The three judges immediately went into a huddle.

"Good luck, everyone," Janie said, taking Fred's hand.

"WE'RE READY!" Stacey cheered. "YAY READINESS!"

They walked up to the microphone, holding two envelopes.

"The runner up is," Andy paused, and opened the envelope. "My dawgette, JANIE SANDERSON!"

Janie squealed and ran onstage.

"The winner, like, is one of the cute guys!" Stacey said, and opened the envelope. She took it out upside-down. "I, like, can't read it!" she complained. Jonathan looked at it and sighed. He took it from her and turned it right side up.

"The winner is Mr. Fred Weasley," he said. "Yippee."

Fred ran onstage and grabbed Janie into a bear hug. He twirled her around.

"You know," he mused. "This is a perfect Christmas gift."

He then pointed above them with his wand. Janie looked up and smiled.

"Mistletoe," she said, and kissed him. Everyone sighed, and Harry stood in front of Hermione.

"Mione, I love you," he said, and kissed her. She kissed back. As everyone broke apart (everyone who was kissing) they all looked at each other and shouted, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, HOGWARTS!

A/N: Wow. This is one LONG oneshot. Typed in one night, if you'll believe that. It's late, I know. Just don't hurt me. And, just so you know, I have absolutely nothing against blondes, seeing as I'm one myself.


End file.
